Bullshit Confessional

went to go email my prof abstract I tell you I see her name come upthe old dark eyed blonde hair and why does your name come up? Even in soft academic detail what, a year later? More… and less… to me more and to you less who rememberswith green hair waving westward, northward, home the man that vomitted their father’s car… only to spew harsh words and leave you for some anarchist who he left for a witch who he left for the desert wind and then even that too for the ocean…only to bike the desert againwho remembers someone like that? Even if he remembers you… Pay no mind I’ve deleted the pictures but keep your number like a last cigarette hidden somewhere out of touch but clear and plain to the memory like anytime I could reach for that cigarette anytime I could call you and either way I’d be coughing a fit feel like dying and turn blue

Morning Cup 2

The day that seems to rise so gentle

like an old woman who knows how to administer

a leg brace

without hurting the broken leg

like some wind off the ocean on a warm day that is colder than the air around you

something that brings respite

for me with epilepsy

the evening is often more terrifying

I never know if I will wake up

where I will wake up

What I will wake up

Some days I blink my eyes and the world fades away

some days everything goes dark

But not today.

Morning Cup

A Plague Tale_ Innocence 2_22_2020 10_15_24 PMIn the morning the air feels fine

Like rings from my pipe

What kurt vile calls

“smoke rings for my halo”

A fine dusty light

Seeping through the yellow smoke

My cat moves in and out of dawn

One paw on the sunrise

Another toys with dusk

And the calm symmetry of night and day

Makes a gentle blend of shadows and sunlight

Reminds me of the golden eyes I used to know

There’s a thousand beautiful people

Often there one’s that I’ve known

There’s a new day rising

There’s some coffee left in my pot

I hold hope for small things

Dusty sunlight and Stars shine

Long Over Winded Wind Reflection

 

there’s no worries with the wind at the door

I too have been the wind and at the door

beholding and knocking and waiting to be beholden

Perhaps I no longer look but wander anyway

 

as the wind that howls

so too have I howled

but tonight I will not howl

because I am not in the mood

 

I have been in the wandering

and seen in the travels

that many people are also alive

and their cities are all the same

 

in some places a taco bell,

in some places a taco Johns

once I had taco join’s in an old north Dakota cemetery

and I didn’t feel no pain

 

besides the drag of cigarettes against my throat

and the knowing that I couldn’t stay

in such a flat land as that

I would always drift away

 

 

Memories of a Sunflower Field and a Car and Something Dubious

there is so much to say

by moving on

I contain archives

memories of sunflower fields

and sitting atop my scion

and next to me

something between

a cosmic sister

and an impossible paramour

who’s beauty and grace are tragedy

as they amplify according

to her own self loathing

 

I could Love her a thousand times

and greet each day with a new wedding ring

I could ruin her fingers with diamonds

and break her back with pearls

but it wouldn’t mean a damn thing

 

something about love was always beyond wealth

It was something about the song

always in her voice

that promised something

Actually a Monday

The words they fly from as fragrance that sweet summer sorrow evoked by Tuesdays

Although it is nor Thursday and not at all a day of Riverside Jazz

I am pleased at last to be writing

When I will it stronger

I will weave a standing desk Fallout76 3_23_2019 2_38_01 PMor is a filthy place

 

But I see babies walk around the streets on my block

Hollering for candy and trying to work the grill

They fail and are swept up

They are such small things

Pocket Gamers Lament

missed the raid,

pokemon is a wicked game

 

like capitalism

if you are not always making moves

you are so far behind

the game becomes an existential excercise

there is no winning it for you

alas you choose the red team

and rather than being socialists,

they’re actually truck driving conservatives

fiscal, social… you name it

anyways
I have to raid alongside the boys across the proverbial trenches from me

it damages my pride actually

but the whole is war is stupid.

 

Totally useless

A remant and a reminder of the true battle,

for xp…an exotic matter… in ingress